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She choked and coughed, laughed, and waved me away, then she looked me in the eye, and said, ‘That was YOU, you silly!’ as she dissolved into laughter again. She laughed for another minute or so, and finally said, ‘Hoo, hmmm, I’m very sorry,’ wiping her eyes, ‘but I can’t cheat on my Mr Wienerman,’ as she leaned over and flicked my crotch. ‘Mr TelephonePole,’ she added, wiping another few tears. I was by this time utterly confused. ‘I’m lost,’ I said. ‘And it’s my fault,’ she replied. ‘Hang on a sec.’ She reached over to the phone, snatched it up, punched in a number, and after a moment said, ‘Hey, Robin? Can you come over?’ Pause. ‘I have a problem.’ Pause. ‘No, it’s cool, but I need you. Okay? Thanks, babe.’ Robin was Sally’s friend from childhood, and mine since high school. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding, and remained one of Sally’s stitch-and-bitch regulars. I must have looked stupid, I kept asking Sally what was going on, but she refused to say anything except to wait for. Or anything. I just want to marry you." Suddenly his face fell. "Of course! It's Illinois, isn't it? You're used to the city and the excitement..." He brightened again. "That's easy: I'll just sell the business! I'll get enough from selling it that we can get a new start anywhere you want to live. You can have your career, Jan..."She just shook her head and tears were now flowing unchecked down her cheeks. "Pete, no! Pete, I'm an Iowa girl. I would love it in a small Illinois town. A career? What a joke! Darling, my idea of the ideal career is to be barefoot and pregnant with one of your babies suckling at my breast." Then she brightened and said, "Pete, I would be proud to be your mistress, though. Perhaps I could even be your concubine and carry your children in my belly. But married? That's ridiculous and just plain impossible."Pete released her and rocked back on his heels. They were now kneeling facing each other with their knees touching. Pete looked at this glorious golden.
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